This past year was filled with anxiety, stress, frustration, confusion, heartbreak, and uncertainty. At some point this year, I know everyone has felt a sense of dread and impatience over simply wanting the world to move past the pandemic. Now, I’m not here to discuss how the pandemic affected my life this year because I know we’re all in the same boat trying to navigate the same waters. Instead, I want to take this opportunity to use this year end journal entry to share with you some of the highs and lows of this past year. Think of it as a little peek behind the shinny, pretty photos that I typically post here on the blog.

1.Chasing the dream: At the start of the year, I finally landed a job in fashion. It has always been my DREAM to work in fashion even though my parents have tried to steer me to more stable/prestigious professions like accountant or medical provider. I was hired blind (no interview, no phone call) through a referral from a friend of a friend and though I saw the lack of screening process to be a red flag, I was just grateful for the opportunity. Though my job at the time offered great professional experience, I found many of my interactions with management to be lacking and questionable. I won’t get into all the little details since the industry is small and I know there are many sides to every story, but all I’ll say is I was unhappy, disappointed, and professionally lost.

Looking back, I didn’t even realize how toxic it all was and even when I was in it, I didn’t want to admit to myself how the instability of my job was affecting other aspects in my life. Denial is a safety net to keep pride afloat and I was there to pay my dues. Eventually, enough was enough and I took my first ticket out to a new brand where so far the environment has been kinder, healthier, and more creative. Only time will tell if I made the right choice or any skeletons will come back to haunt me. 2021 Life Lesson: Working in fashion is an entirely different beast to navigate. Make friends, lean on a mentor or two, and don't bother being where you’re not wanted.

2. Soul searching: I swear 26 is a confusing age. Some people are getting married, other people are moving, and some are simply taking it all in day by day. When I looked around, there only seemed like there were three options in life: move cities, get married/have kids, go to grad school. By simple process of elimination, I’ve been convinced that none of these life choices would make me happy, so where does that leave me? On one hand, I don’t want to be someone that’s never moved or lived someplace else, but on the other hand, there are only a handful of cities where a career in fashion is viable (London, Paris, Milan, New York City, Los Angeles). After being inspired by a friend who applied to grad school in Germany, I started to look into fashion programs in Europe. Nothing is set in stone and I still have a lot of research to do on my end, but one day I want to live abroad (pending pandemic safety and such). 2021 Life Lesson: No one actually has anything figured out.

Here are some of my favorite moments from 2021 ~

3. Mental health + Hobbies: Like many people who picked up new hobbies during the pandemic, I’ve become obsessed with baking. My obsession reached new heights when I realized everything on my holiday wishlist and items I bought for myself are kitchen related. For Christmas, my family gave me a Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer. Ever since I started making focaccia bread last year, I have been dropping not so subtle hints that a Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer would be the crème de la crème. As it turns out, I also bought myself a Kitchen Aid hand mixer and elegant apron from Anthro. On top of that, a friend gifted me a pasta maker, so now I am fully equipped to take my baking to the next level.

To me, baking is actually something that helps smooth over moments of anxiety. Even though baking a new recipe can be a stressful situation in itself, I find the challenge to be exciting and the end result to be a thrilling experiment. Throughout these past two years, baking has become another way that I like to connect with people on Instagram and in real life. I love reading the kind comments and DMs with words of support or curiosity. It makes sense why baking content in general brings people together. It’s an everyday, wholesome activity that incorporates culture, identity, exploration, and creativity. 2021 Life Lesson: Baking is good for the soul.

Here are some of my favorite baking creations from this past year:

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4. Micro-Influencer? Model? Content Creator?: Everyone says that the people in LA are all models, actors, or influencers and on one hand they’re not wrong. Though I would hardly consider myself to be an influencer, I was lucky enough to work on a few collaborations with some really amazing brands. Skincare is an industry that I personally love and many of my beauty blog posts are thanks to the brands who sent me product. As of now, I do not get paid to write reviews or create blog posts, so everything I say is truly my own opinion and experience. After diving deeper into the opportunities that content creating provides, I do think it’s worthwhile for me to try to find a healthy balance between paid partnerships and my own organic content. Ella Kol will forever be my heart and soul and I want to continue to find ways to grow my little platform. 2021 Life Lesson: You can never have too many side hustles.

Some brands I was lucky enough to create content for this year are:

Reformation
MERIT
OMAYMA
The Feelist
EADEM
Peach Slices/Peach & Lily

This sums up my 2021 life lessons. I hope this helped give you a little sneak peek into my life outside of baking, fashion, and skincare. Of course there’s always more going on behind the scenes and lots that I still want to share with you, but that will all have to wait until the New Year!

Last but not least, shout out to my friends and family who made this year of uncertainty feel a little more certain. I cannot gush enough about how my friends are my inspiration, cheerleaders, therapists, stylists, partners in crime, and so much more. My friends are my whole world and in so many ways they make life worth living, so thank you a million times over for your endless support and positivity.

Wishing you all a safe and happy New Year. Feel free to let me know what life lessons you learned in the comments section down below.

Cheers!

ps: Stay tuned for my 30 by 30 list!

xx

Kiana

(Ella Kol)

Hero image shot by Kiley Rickman