With the hype of Valentine’s Day gone, all those lonely hearts can finally settle down. There’s nothing wrong with feeling lonely every once in a while, but there’s no doubt that society capitalizes on humanity’s desire to feel wanted. At least nowadays, women are free to pursue both their careers and a family. But I’m not here to give you a feminist rant. What I would like to divulge to you, dearest reader, is that the state of being single can be both a matter of choice and principle.
Any generalized horoscope will tell you that timing, compatibility, attractiveness, and even money contribute to whether or not you will meet someone and how long the two of you will last together. You would think that in college, dating would be easy. Hormones are peaking and everyone is suddenly more attractive than ever. Without the watchful eye of parents, us kids are free to hook up with whoever we want whenever we want. Thus, those who stay single must have chosen to be single. Especially with social media sites like Tinder and Plenty of Fish, dating people has never been easier. After all, dating shouldn’t be difficult anyways. If you really did not want to be single, desperation will kick in and someone else just as lonely will be more than happy to fill the gap. Then boom, suddenly your no longer single.
Of course, the grass is always greener on the other side. That’s just how our brains are wired. Curiosity killed the cat and we will die trying to figure out how to get to the greener grass. When someone tells you in a stuffy voice, “It’s a matter of principle!”, usually they say it because they can’t think of some other clever thing to say back. Yet when it comes to being single, the values, moral compasses, and personal truths of you and your s.o share all have to line up like well orchestrated stars in the galaxy. Maybe the two of you do not share the same religion, or one of you believes that the moon landing was a conspiracy; regardless, being with someone for the long run means that you have found someone who just gets you. Who gets your bad habits. Who gets your irrational fears. Who gets your random craving for sunflower seeds. Who gets your dreams, aspirations, and silly principles.
Unlike friendships, romantic relationships can be far more dynamic. Most people have a variety of friends for a variety of reasons. With girls, we all have that one friend that’s always a hot mess. In contrast, we all have that one friend who has it all together. We have that one friend whose wiser behind her years and that one friend who still can’t parallel park. Also, we all have that one guy friend whose always shown potential boyfriend material, but we refuse to date because of our innate fear of ruining a life long friendship…Anyways! With romantic relationships, everyone is quick to say, ‘I’m not asking for much’, but in fact, whether you know it or not, you are.
Everyone is different. Therefore, everyone has a subconscious list of requirements, and if you don’t at the moment, it won’t take long for that list to form once you start dating. Little things like: Is he a good texter? Does he offer to pay or go dutch? Do you love the way he laughs? Can you go on adventures together? Is he a good kisser? Is he a dogs or cat guy? And then there’s the big things like: What city does he live in? What kind of work is he passionate about? Do his friends like having you around? etc. These are all things that are up for grabs to consider. So maybe all you want in the relationship is someone to watch Netflix with, but I doubt the two of you will simply want to watch reruns Orange is the New Black for the rest of your young lives. Or if you do, cool. I’m not going to judge you.
Regardless of what your into or where you are at in your life, being single should be one of the least of your worries. Surround yourself with wonderful people who can inspire you everyday. Don’t be afraid to venture out on your own too. With over 7 billion people on this planet, I highly doubt you’ll be able to meet every single one. But with the ones you do meet, hopefully you’ll find the one. Choose the one that makes you the happiest. Choose the one that gets you.
Top: Free People
xx Ella-Kol